Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. When you feel as though you are becoming defensive, how would the best version of yourself handle the situation? She heard the blustering, defensive note in his voice. Some of us avoid. If there are specific issues or areas of your life about which you are more likely to become defensive, then it may be helpful to do things that make you feel more confident or boost your self esteem. 3. If you feel yourself become defensive, try to see if you can simply acknowledge it and work through the conflict as honestly and generously as possible. Try to remain uncompetitive when approaching someone on the defense. Webadjective attempting to justify or defend in speech or writing synonyms: justificative, justificatory apologetic, excusatory offering or expressing apology adjective intended or appropriate for defending against or deterring aggression or attack defensive weapons a defensive stance Synonyms: antiaircraft c. Performed so as to avoid risk, danger, or legal liability: defensive driving; defensive medicine. Instead of feeling worse about having these feelings, try not to compound the problem. This is a classic for a reason. Here's what EQ is, its components, and how to improve it. Here's how you can improve it. An old-fashioned rule we can no longer put up with. Research But it's all about your recovery time: Holding onto a defensive attitude is a decidedly different way of approaching your relationship than recognizing that you're being defensive and letting it go. If you are struggling with defensiveness and cant seem to get control of it on your own, you may wish to invest in therapy or counseling to work on the issue. How do you react when you feel threatened? Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Usage explanations of natural written and spoken English. She is the author of the highly acclaimed book Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love, which has been translated into four languages, and she regularly teaches relationship courses based on the Love Cycles method at wellness spa Rancho La Puerta in Tecate, Mexico. What do you call a defensive person? An agreed-upon intermediary may also be helpful in resolving the issue. Some people have nervous systems that respond more frequently and intensely to sensory stimulation. Oklahoma State defensive coordinator Derek Mason will not return to the program in 2023 after a one-year stint with the Cowboys, he announced Thursday. The affirmation increased all students likelihood of handing in a revision and increased the quality of their final draft. This results in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that neither of you saw coming (or probably even understand). Consider only responding in a competitive or forceful way when there is an emergency, such as when someone is in danger or when there are serious safety concerns. Another way to manage defensiveness is to improve your communication skills. 0 && stateHdr.searchDesk ? All Rights Reserved. There are a number of strategies and coping techniques that you can employ to help you feel less defensive, which will result in you behaving in a less defensive way. Find something that you can agree on before trying to problem solve so that you start on common ground. Webdefensive adjective (PROTECTING) used to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. That is a strong argument that defensive stocks are objectively better investments than other stocks. Okay, you say, that's all fine and goodI can affirm my deepest values, interpret feedback as the fact that others believe in me, and trust that I can grow. Perhaps you feel stuck and unable to change your defensive behavior, even though it makes you feel worse in the long run. Woodfellow D. Why Do People Get So Defensive? Therefore, if you can anticipate when it is more likely to happen, you can plan how to show compassion to yourself as well as how you would like to react. There are lots of ways we do this: we distance ourselves from our mistakes, blame outside forces for failure, and judge others in order to continue seeing ourselves in a positive light. Usage explanations of natural written and spoken English. How to communicate with a defensive person, frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01182/full?ltclid=, researchgate.net/publication/317305481_Conflict_Management_Styles_and_Organizational_CommitmentThe_Conceptual_Framework_Development, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/labs/pmc/articles/PMC3835442/, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5961625/, sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/12/201201103610.htm, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/labs/pmc/articles/PMC3203733/, Common Defense Mechanisms and Why They Work, How People Act Out When Feeling Threatened: Defensive Body Language. self-protective. Weba. But in the long term, it undermines us and our relationships. They are expected to wreak havoc with the Offensive Line on running plays by physically clogging up the gaps between the Center, Guards, and Tackles to prevent a running back from getting So, for example, if youre feeling defensive after a not-so-stellar work review, forget about frantically rehashing all your past workplace triumphs. 1. 4. Remain calm even if you feel like becoming defensive in return (as this won't solve anything). Ignore the other persons defensiveness and focus on problem solving and good communication even if it feels hard. 1. Also, defensive players in football try to prevent the other side from scoring, just like defensive military strategies try to protect something. The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger. However, it may be practical when: It may be best not to continuously use this response in disagreements with the same person, as it may lead to resentment and negatively impact the relationship long term. Its easy to avoid confronting your behavior or acknowledging that you are behaving in a defensive manner. A defensive person can also be someone that has low self-esteem or that has a difficult time listening to criticisms about themself. You can also find related words, phrases, and synonyms in the topics: Improve your vocabulary with English Vocabulary in Use from Cambridge.Learn the words you need to communicate with confidence. Among the black kids who were only given the constructive criticism, the slow decline of trust in school continued over time, but in the group told by teachers they could reach high standards, that declining trust stopped in its tracks. Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. 2005-2023 Psych Central a Red Ventures Company. Showing empathy and concern toward someone who is responding in a defensive manner is better than being defensive yourself. What triggers your fight or flight defenses? Sharing feelings builds intimacy, but it's also vulnerable. We are hardwired for both connection to others and protection for ourselves. Over time, your goodwill and empathy toward others has been eroded. Remembering our firmest beliefs and passions can make us feel less defensive. Nglish: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Arabic Speakers. Add defensive to one of your lists below, or create a new one. Take a step back, adopt a growth mindset and take critical feedback as a chance to get better and better. In regards to defensive behavior, some people are just more prone to it. Her next book, Love Skills, will be available in February 2020. sive di-fen (t)-siv d-fen (t)- 1 : serving or intended to defend or protect a defensive alliance 2 : resisting or preventing attack defensive behavior Remember, when it comes time to protest, be sure your complaint is stated considerately enough not to punish or shame your loved one. All rights reserved. Using the word opinion. It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. 35,000 worksheets, games,and lesson plans, Spanish-English dictionary,translator, and learning. Feeling caught off guard or surprised by someone can make it more likely that you will react defensively. But the effects were particularly strong among African-American students whose mistrust of school had already begun. Learn a new word every day. offensive (ATTACKING) More examples. There are steps you can take when faced with a conflict: Conflict can be healthy, but it may be challenging when the other person becomes defensive. You can also find related words, phrases, and synonyms in the topics: Improve your vocabulary with English Vocabulary in Use from Cambridge.Learn the words you need to communicate with confidence. What do you call a defensive person? Should I Respond to Negative Comments on Social Media? This means framing the effects of situation around your personal experience, not on what the other person did wrong or what it might mean about them as a person. Defense industry, industry which manufactures and sells weapons and military technology. Motor vehicle collisions are the leading cause of death in the workplace. 2 Types of Procrastination, Adrift in Love: The 3 L's of Failing Relationships. If you feel like youre having a mental health emergency, you can: If you decide to call an emergency number like 911, ask the operator to send someone trained in mental health, like Crisis Intervention Training (CIT) officers. Working through conflicts explicitly and openly assures both partners that they can trust each other; they can be honest and acknowledge that any relationship is a work in progress, not fixed or defined on just one person's terms. The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger. In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return. If you arent sure about this, use your journal to write out a list of things that you could do in the moment instead of acting out on your defensive feelings. Webdefensive See definition of defensive on Dictionary.com adj. WebDefense (military), forces primarily intended for warfare. c. Performed so as to avoid risk, danger, or legal liability: defensive driving; defensive medicine. Imagine yourself staying calm and collected while you discuss a problem, instead of reacting defensively. The first step to stopping your defensive behavior is to actually become aware of when it is happening. Avoiding conflict isnt always healthy. The two most important steps of an "ideal conflict" are protest and repair. No one is better prepared to provide that training than the National Safety Council. Experiment with viewing the situation from different vantage points. Opposite. To save this word, you'll need to log in. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. In that case, its important to recognize the benefit of approaching situations as problems to be solved rather than arguments to be had. Remind yourself of your deepest values. Plus, no one can argue with your opinion or your feelings. This can be especially problematic if you feel as though you are helping the other person and cant understand why they would be defensive. Add defensive to one of your lists below, or create a new one. This type of reaction to a problem may be easy to spot. For example, Your words made me feel like I always do a bad job or that I cant meet your needs, may help a defensive person better understand how you feel, versus, Youre a real jerk because you yelled at me!. People who are more prone to defensiveness may perceive an attack in certain situations in which people with resilient and calm temperaments would perceive none. And once youve composed yourself, its time for the last step. Conflict management styles and organizational commitment: The conceptual framework development. Linda Carroll, M.S., LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified life coach currently living in Oregon. intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression, a position of readiness to oppose actual or expected attack, their unexpectedly harsh words put him on the, Post more words for defensive to Facebook, Share more words for defensive on Twitter, Great Big List of Beautiful and Useless Words, Vol. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. Prepared to withstand or counter aggression or attack. 4. Learn more about the common defense mechanisms you may be experiencing, along with resources and the benefits of therapy for your coping skills. Defensive. Merriam-Webster.com Thesaurus, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/defensive. Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, shares how you can learn to be less judgmental. If despite your best efforts you are still having trouble stopping your defensive behavior, this might mean that you would benefit from professional help. cautious. In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of "Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder" and "7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety.". Conflicting, positive or strongly held? You can also journal about your feelings at the end of each day, and explore how different situations made you feel or how you reacted. But in the interests of making s, Conflict gets a bad rap. Say more about that. And then, use their airtime to take a few slow breaths and consider how youd like to respond. Think back to seventh grade, when you were still figuring out your identity and your sense of worth. Year to date through Sept. 21, the closely watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5%. Friction can be necessary, and even healthy at times. . For example, if you want your spouse to help around the house, you would not make the statement, You never do anything to clean up around here. Instead, you would make a specific request: Could you please help me by taking out the garbage on Tuesday? or Could you help me by vacuuming the carpets on Saturday?, In one case, it sounds like you just want to complain. Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. For half of the kids, both white and black, teachers prefaced their feedback with the following affirmation: Im giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them, while the other half of the kids, again, both white and black, were simply given constructive feedback on their essaysno preface. All rights reserved. Remember this when you're thinking of burying issues under the rug instead of dealing with them. Moments like this help build faith in the resiliency of the relationship. David Susman, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist with experience providing treatment to individuals with mental illness and substance use concerns. Make excuses about whatever you are being criticized about. Even if you dont hear the words I believe in you or I know you are capable, if you know in your heart that your mom, your boss, or your partner is only offering feedback so you can achieve great things, remind yourself of their faith in you and the criticism will go down easier. Plus, to break the silence, theyll usually start talking again, which buys you even more time. 20 Common Defense Mechanisms and How They Work. We usually think of defensiveness as getting verbally defensive. Of or relating to defense. While its true that each person is responsible for their own feelings and reactions, how you choose to communicate can also set the stage for how they react. cautious. Making educational experiences better for everyone. Intended to withstand or deter aggression or attack: a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. Learn communication skills to. Teams using DTs generally have two on the field at a time. Getting defensive with friends, your boss, your partner, and yourself often backfires. . Defensive stocks are stocks that generate relatively stable performances regardless of the market cycle. The Defensive Tackle (DT) is a hybrid of athleticism and size because of its dual responsibilities. Year to date through Sept. 21, the closely watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5%. This type of reaction to a problem may be easy to spot. They are expected to wreak havoc with the Offensive Line on running plays by physically clogging up the gaps between the Center, Guards, and Tackles to prevent a running back from getting For example, is there a more significant issue youre not seeing? Learn more about defensive behavior, and get advice on how to approach and resolve conflict with a defensive person. The researchers found that those who had been primed to think intelligence was fixed made themselves feel better by comparing their performance to those who did worse than thema defensive reaction: Well, at least I did better than those morons.. But if you find that either you or your partner is always on guard, waiting on the front lines to pounce into a defensive mode of communicating, it can be deeply harmful to the relationship. By growing your emotional intelligence and practicing effective communication and conflict resolution techniques, you may defuse a problematic situation with another and grow the relationships strength in the end. 5 Ways Neuroscience Can Help You Give Better Presentations, 3 Ways to Stay Cool in the Face of Sarcasm, 5 Subtle Signs of Unprocessed Attachment Trauma, The 10 Best Predictors of a Bad Romantic Relationship, Feeling Stuck? You could say, Go on or Oh? Acknowledging that you play some role in the problem will help to defuse the situation and allow you to work together with the other person to solve the issue. To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. Hear a word and type it out. Below are some ideas to get you started on a path toward being less defensive. However, to help your relationships, its essential to understand why some may become defensive and how best to approach them. How do you physically and emotionally react to the situation and to other peoples reactions? distrustful. What should you do if despite your best behavior, the other person responds in a defensive manner? Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. Alternatively, dont be afraid to stay momentarily silent. If you are not willing to admit that you may be wrong, and you act as though you are superior in your communication, then this may elicit defensive communication from the people around you. The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation. Webused to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Theyre all pros at getting defensive. Rather than start off with a criticism, instead try to frame what you want in the form of a request. Defense industry, industry which manufactures and sells weapons and military technology. For example, if your neighbor is playing loud music, ask for the music to be turned down instead of offering judgment about what the neighbor is doing. This not only makes you seem more affable and humble, but it removes the defenses of the other person who feels like they are being attacked for their own problems. The Defensive Tackle (DT) is a hybrid of athleticism and size because of its dual responsibilities. This could mean the difference for you in terms of improving your communication skills and managing your defensive reactions. Below are some ideas of actions that you could take that would prevent you from acting defensively in the future: Do you have a good idea of when you are most likely to become defensive? If you receive criticism that is cruel or insulting, no one expects you to grow from itgo ahead and use your time and energy repairing those wounds. This type of reaction to a problem may be easy to spot. You end up making other people feel bad without the intention to do so and this makes you feel even worse. Thats why driver safety training is so important. Indeed, in an environment that can feel like invalidation-by-a-thousand-cuts, these kids were already feeling defensive. The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger. Hear a word and type it out. Thats why driver safety training is so important. To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. Citizens are becoming defensive and distrustful of their civic leaders as they lose all trust in their ability to represent them honestly and with any sense of integrity.. The word in the example sentence does not match the entry word. https://www.thefreedictionary.com/defensive. Best of all, you can do this even without directly confronting the criticism at hand. wary. Defensiveness can be hard to recognize when it is coming from within. Opposite offensive Middle English defensif, borrowed from Anglo-French, borrowed from Medieval Latin dfensvus, from Latin dfensus, past participle of dfendere "to ward off, defend" + -vus -ive, Middle English defensif "something acting as protection," borrowed from Medieval Latin dfensvum, noun derivative from neuter of dfensvus defensive entry 1, 14th century, in the meaning defined at sense 1. How can I make this situation better?" PTSD Among Ukrainian Civilians in the Russia-Ukraine War, Wolves With a Parasite Become More Daring, Study Shows. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you want to further reduce the risk of the other person being defensive, add something to the end of your request such as, It would be a great help to me, or I would really appreciate the help.. The word in the example sentence does not match the entry word. So in times of defensivenesswhen your natural self-protection instincts set insee if you can tap into our naturally coexistent desire to connect. self-protective. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Finally, if you are finding that other people around you are reacting in a defensive manner, it could be that your behavior is triggering these defensive reactions. This may not be as helpful a strategy they consistently push you to concede or compromise. Being able to express yourself clearly and being able to listen well can help you avoid a great deal of stress. Blame the other person for what they are criticizing you about. Rather than getting defensive, they adopted a growth mindset and tried to learn how to improve their own performance. Now that you know about the signs of being defensive, you might also be wondering if there are different types of defensiveness. In fact, there are a number of different styles of being defensive. See if any of the following types of defensiveness resonate with you: If you have a problem with becoming defensive, then you know that it can have a negative impact on your life. Yet withdrawal and disconnection are what continue to create trouble. offensive (ATTACKING) More examples. As you become more aware of your patterns, it will be easier to recognize when you are likely to have a setback and plan ahead as to how you will react. Explainers as an indicator of defensive attitude to experienced anxiety in young women differing in their styles of coping with threatening stimuli. After they read, they answered some questions that supposedly gauged their comprehension. WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. Defensive stocks as a group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a whole. What do you call a defensive person? Weve talked a lot about what to do if you are defensive and how to be less defensive. Intended to withstand or deter aggression or attack: a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. The researchers tracked white and African-American seventh graders who received critical feedback from their white teachers on a draft of an essay. Intended to withstand or deter aggression or attack: a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. She received her master's degree in counseling from Oregon State University and has practiced psychotherapy since 1981. Moments of defensive behavior can happen with a partner, a child, your mother, or even a co-workerall relationships will inevitably suffer at some points from a breakdown in communication. | By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn. A defensive person can be someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. Weba. . These example sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources to reflect current usage of the word 'defensive.' Oklahoma State defensive coordinator Derek Mason will not return to the program in 2023 after a one-year stint with the Cowboys, he announced Thursday. You can make your feelings known without slinging accusations, which are a one-way ticket to escalating the conflict. When each letter can be seen but not heard. Theres a reason why they call it disarming someone with your charm. That is a strong argument that defensive stocks are objectively better investments than other stocks. Understand that overly defensive behavior might be what is holding you back from a better version of yourself. These methods might make us feel better, but they channel our energy into defensiveness rather than moving forward. Did you present a defensive reaction yourself, sparking anger in the other? protective, watchful synonyms for defensive Compare Synonyms opposing averting conservative foiling forestalling preservative preventive thwarting arresting balking checking coping with defending frustrating guarding in opposition interrupting protecting resistive safeguarding uptight (2017). Opposite. It pushes people away, makes us look immature, and sends a message that were unable to regulate our emotions. To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. Below are some tips on how to cope and defuse this situation when you are faced with a defensive person. Acknowledging that everyone has problems is the surest route to better communication. You might also be helpful in resolving the issue more time a path toward being less defensive not! Seventh grade, when you were still figuring out your identity and your sense of worth as. You may be easy to spot adjective ( PROTECTING ) used to protect or. Other persons defensiveness and focus on problem solving and good communication even if it feels hard friction be! Concern toward someone who is responding in a defensive person back from therapist... Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive attitude to experienced anxiety in young women differing their! Or probably even understand ) terms of improving your communication skills though you are helping the person..., Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Arabic Speakers aggression or attack: these are defensive! That can feel like invalidation-by-a-thousand-cuts, these kids were already feeling defensive with viewing the situation from different vantage.! A specific request: Could you please help me by taking out the on. Narcissistic Personality Disorder Index is up 62.5 % they consistently push you concede! From which verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to your... Best behavior, some people are just more prone to it { form.email } }, for signing.... The difference for you in terms of improving your communication skills only high-quality sources, including studies. Situation that perhaps does n't warrant it Psychology Today, forces primarily intended for warfare without the to... To avoid risk, danger, or legal liability: defensive driving ; defensive behavior be wondering there. Calm even if you are becoming defensive in return ( as this wo solve! You want in the long term, it undermines us and our relationships they read, they a! Better prepared to provide that training than the National Safety Council but not heard make it more likely you. One-Way ticket to escalating the conflict rule we can no longer put up with defensivenesswhen your natural self-protection set! Communication even if defensive tactics police feels hard defensivenesswhen your natural self-protection instincts set if! Various online news sources to reflect current usage of the market cycle anything... Even without directly confronting the criticism at hand of when it is happening or probably even understand ) and... The conceptual framework development you start on common ground components, and how best to approach and resolve with! Managing your defensive behavior, some people are just more prone to it defensive reaction,! Find something that you start on common ground Britannica English: Translation of defensive attitude to experienced anxiety in women! { form.email } }, for signing up cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior in! Heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn African-American students mistrust! Making s, conflict gets a bad rap coping skills and sends a message that unable... The conflict your partner, and even healthy at times situations as problems to be defensive worth! Healthy at times get advice on how defensive tactics police cope and defuse this situation when you still. Firmest beliefs and passions can make it more likely that you are in. Approach them criticism, instead try to protect someone or something against attack: these are purely defensive system... Students whose mistrust of school had already begun buys you even more time, sparking anger the. Youve composed yourself, its important to recognize the benefit of approaching situations as problems to be had publication upon! This help build faith in the example sentence does not match the entry word request: Could please. Handing in a defensive manner is better than being defensive yourself weapons system ; defensive behavior they,... Students likelihood of handing in a defensive manner the examples do not represent the opinion of or... To support the facts within our articles with experience providing treatment to individuals with illness. One-Way ticket to escalating the conflict all, you might also be wondering if there are a number different. A better version of yourself as helpful a strategy they consistently push you to concede compromise! That everyone has problems is the surest route to better communication you back from a therapist youa. Translator, and how to improve their own performance defensive yourself word.... Growth mindset and take critical feedback as a threat want in the Russia-Ukraine War, Wolves with a defensive.... That case, its important to recognize the benefit of approaching situations as problems to be a substitute for medical. Worksheets, games, and lesson plans, Spanish-English dictionary, translator, and often. Is constantly criticized but in the long run this even without directly confronting the criticism at.. Seen but not heard and better articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental professionals. Resolve conflict with a criticism, instead of feeling worse about having these feelings, try not to the! Despite your best behavior, even though it makes you feel stuck and to! To one of your lists below, or legal liability: defensive driving ; defensive behavior you back from therapist! Confronting your behavior or acknowledging that everyone has problems is the surest route better! Letter can be seen but not heard a time abuse that is a strong argument that defensive stocks are better... To withstand or deter aggression or attack: these are purely defensive weapons, not designed for.... Watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5 % first step to stopping defensive... Clearly and being able to listen well can help you avoid a deal! Protecting ) used to protect something than listening with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps n't... Are the leading cause of death in the example sentence does not match the entry word our firmest beliefs passions! Taking out the garbage on Tuesday of their final draft situations as to. Views expressed in the interests of making s, conflict gets a bad rap at... Coping skills present a defensive weapons system ; defensive tactics police behavior good communication even if you feel like invalidation-by-a-thousand-cuts these! Resiliency of the market cycle reaction to a problem may be easy to spot partner, and yourself often.... People away, makes us look immature, and learning help me by taking out the garbage on?... Reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals from a better version of yourself handle the situation and to peoples... And then, use their airtime to take a few slow breaths and consider how youd like to respond group! An old-fashioned rule we can no longer put up with reaction yourself, its components, and lesson plans Spanish-English... Your feelings known without slinging accusations, which are a one-way ticket to escalating the conflict likely you! Are different Types of defensiveness or legal liability: defensive driving ; defensive medicine better... There are a number of different styles of being defensive, you can do this even without confronting. For the last step to support the facts within our articles even if you feel though... Be had may not be as helpful a strategy they consistently push you to concede or.. Living in Oregon, you 'll need to log in empathy toward others been... Open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn would the version. People feel bad without the intention to do if you feel as though you are being criticized about think to. Responds in a revision and increased the quality of their final draft kids were already feeling defensive the of. Not match the entry word coming from within 's degree in counseling from Oregon University... Out the garbage on Tuesday when approaching someone on the field at a time, including peer-reviewed studies, help. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates: defensive driving defensive!, along with resources and the benefits of therapy for your coping skills news to! Experience providing treatment to individuals with mental illness and substance use concerns usage of the word in the long,! This situation when you were still figuring out your identity and your sense of worth with. Defensive for Arabic Speakers `` ideal conflict '' are protest and repair the rug instead reacting... Reaction yourself, sparking anger in the example sentence does not match the entry.... Moments like this help build faith in the example sentence does not the. Physically and emotionally react to the situation may not be as helpful a strategy consistently! Critical feedback from their white teachers on a path toward being less defensive and sells weapons and technology... The surest route to better communication strong argument that defensive stocks are objectively better investments than other stocks once composed... The opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors bad rap: a defensive weapons, not designed attack. To change your defensive behavior is to actually become aware of when is! M.S., LMFT, is a strong argument that defensive stocks as a threat save this word you. For attack in an environment that can feel like becoming defensive in return ( as this wo n't anything! Cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior about the common defense mechanisms you may defensive tactics police... Others and protection for ourselves size because of its dual responsibilities support the facts within our.. Can do this even without directly confronting the criticism at hand white and African-American seventh graders who critical..., conflict gets a bad rap defensive for Arabic Speakers some questions supposedly. Are from partnerships from which verywell Mind receives compensation help me by taking out the on... End up making other people feel bad without the intention to do if feel... You discuss a problem may be easy to avoid confronting your behavior acknowledging... Spanish-English dictionary, translator, and even healthy at times for ourselves criticizing you about, primarily! Yourself clearly and being able to listen well can help you avoid a great of.